where am I?

It's been literally AGES since the last time I wrote a post in here. My last one was after my finals, if I remember correctly. Almost a whole semester has gone by ever since. 

I won't have any classes this week because of my city's universitary celebrations, Queima das Fitas (I will talk about that later on!), so it will be a good opportunity to unwind and organize myself before I start hardcore-studying for my finals in June.

It's also a good time to review my first year as a university student - which has flown by - and I am absolutely positive that I'm a whole different person than I was only nine months ago, when I started this blog. 

Finding Mariana seemed a fitting title when I started, because I was only a scared girl who thought she was going to have to become all grown-up and mature in a matter of days. 

I remember my first days at college: I was trying to act all opinionated and adult, in a most ridiculous fashion now that I think of it. I felt really uncomfortable at first, as I'm not a natural extrovert even though I talk a lot! It was really scary, especially because I could see that my high school friends were forming new groups at their schools, and I felt quite alone.

However, the ways of life brought me close to some of the BEST people I could have asked for! I found out that most people in there are really nice. Not only nice, there are no words. People were genuine, friendly, helpful, never denied me some company. I found many friends with similar tastes such as Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones! It was really different from high school, because there were no "cliques", no "trying to fit in", no "trying to impress". Having lunch with my classmates, studying with "random" people in the library, being in the body of students of my year, chatting during boring classes, lab days, studying Anatomy in despair, Thursday night dinners, even some crazy parties... all those things have brought my love of people to a whole new level. 

High school seems like another life right now. Even more because so many of my closest friends have stepped away from me. It hurts me a lot to see that happen, but... I guess that's life. We're all growing up in different directions and we can't all tangle our lives together. 

I am so. incredibly. thankful, however, for those of my friends who have stayed. It's been an incredible blessing to see our friendships grow despite the physical distance and our different paths. I feel really happy that there are people who care about me, and it's fascinating to see them grow up and build their lives as I am building mine. I am incredibly and extremely proud of my best friends for the people they are becoming.

Through all these changes, my boyfriend has been my biggest support and my anchor. He is always there for me even when I'm grumpy and moody and sad and stressed. We've come so far in the year-and-a-month we have been together, and I couldn't love him more. It's also a blessing to see him grow up with me and I surely hope we can continue to evolve together.

I have grown up so much, and I barely noticed it. It's kinda spooky. I run my errands all by myself now. I manage my own money. I have a way better image now of what I want to do with my life. I want to be around people as much as possible; I want to help improve their health by changing lifestyles. I want to travel the world, and to offer myself to help others, and to research the cure for cancer, and to do surgery on brains and make people happy again.  I want to get married, have a pretty apartment and a dog, I want to be a mother. I want to follow the path God is driving me into. I want to live a life that I'll be proud of when I'm old.

So, this is where I am. Have I found myself? Not completely. But I'm getting there.

Here are some pictures that describe my year:

I discovered the power of sushi...

...as well as Game of Thrones! 

I spent a whole day in a lab which was a lot of fun!

I love my uni sweater!

Piano - my #1 creative outlet!

I fell even more in love with my city this year!

In this day, two of my new and lovely friends and I shared a vegetarian meal, went by the seaside and rented some bikes!

My boyfriend and I celebrated our First Anniversary on April 4th!

This is a very very happy and hopeful me! I might not be this bubbly all the time, I can be REALLY stressed and moody.
But I'm on my way to happiness!